Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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