You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
