I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I still have a little drunk in my system
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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