I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize