Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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