I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize