apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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