you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
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Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
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The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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