Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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