i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
