His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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