O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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