I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
