In the future we'll all be gay
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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