Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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