i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
