What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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