I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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