miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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