I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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