Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
