did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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