the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
