It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
