So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
