Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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