I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
