He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
