Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
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Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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