I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
