MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
