I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
