She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Tornado booty call.. dedication
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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