I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.