Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm lost and stupid without you.

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  (708): I'm lost and stupid without you. http://tfl.nu/d04q
  Replies (5) Good night (1305) Bad night (689)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.

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  (201): the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called. http://tfl.nu/7ag1
  Replies (9) Good night (906) Bad night (2489)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone

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  (902): you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken' (1-902): well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone http://tfl.nu/o9f8
  Replies (8) Good night (2491) Bad night (567)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...

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  (302): And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks... http://tfl.nu/1g5k
  Replies (13) Good night (1158) Bad night (2467)
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  (818): View more from California

  I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project

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  (818): I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project http://tfl.nu/g4w5
  Replies (6) Good night (2617) Bad night (1178)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did

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  (910): It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did http://tfl.nu/v7hu
  Replies (11) Good night (834) Bad night (1474)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza

  (917): View more from New York City

  The hookers weren't a dream get tested

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  (914): I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza (917): The hookers weren't a dream get tested http://tfl.nu/wjzv
  Replies (3) Good night (1330) Bad night (2622)
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  (626): View more from California

  I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.

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  (626): I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses. http://tfl.nu/ogb0
  Replies (3) Good night (1154) Bad night (505)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.

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  (941): I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant. http://tfl.nu/bzfq
  Replies (11) Good night (1502) Bad night (680)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.

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  (405): Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice. http://tfl.nu/9rvd
  Replies (4) Good night (1234) Bad night (409)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.

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  (904): The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins. http://tfl.nu/2pe6
  Replies (7) Good night (816) Bad night (390)
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  (707): View more from California

  OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS

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  (707): OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS http://tfl.nu/54sh
  Replies (7) Good night (724) Bad night (273)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.

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  (919): Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/9jhi
  Replies (8) Good night (366) Bad night (878)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid

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  (609): i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid http://tfl.nu/4631
  Replies (3) Good night (226) Bad night (633)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least

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  (312): woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least http://tfl.nu/d3yx
  Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (281)

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