ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
