Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i did. i'm using it as a microphone.

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  (703): maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking. (859): i did. i'm using it as a microphone. http://tfl.nu/mm1q
  Replies (8) Good night (3147) Bad night (738)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.

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  (208): Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible. http://tfl.nu/1gp8
  Replies (27) Good night (2954) Bad night (956)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.

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  (919): I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/zj28
  Replies (25) Good night (3257) Bad night (1055)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Do you want the good news or bad news first?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  bad news

  (205): View more from Alabama

  The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.

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  (205): Do you want the good news or bad news first? (678): bad news (205): The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos. http://tfl.nu/6wx8
  Replies (17) Good night (4133) Bad night (1699)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.

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  (484): its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed. http://tfl.nu/kf6i
  Replies (22) Good night (6562) Bad night (661)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"

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  (203): all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober" http://tfl.nu/2nrl
  Replies (19) Good night (952) Bad night (4178)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit

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  (416): Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit http://tfl.nu/uw56
  Replies (17) Good night (1141) Bad night (3769)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?

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  (217): I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college? http://tfl.nu/03bi
  Replies (13) Good night (4731) Bad night (996)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..

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  (503): I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions.. http://tfl.nu/v6no
  Replies (2) Good night (1991) Bad night (1193)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose

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  (973): I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose http://tfl.nu/nvzm
  Replies (1) Good night (651) Bad night (1468)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.

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  (407): Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck. http://tfl.nu/ldxl
  Replies (14) Good night (579) Bad night (1918)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries

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  (423): So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries http://tfl.nu/0e3x
  Replies (3) Good night (1019) Bad night (399)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad

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  (914): I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad http://tfl.nu/el2g
  Replies (3) Good night (648) Bad night (327)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks

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  (425): If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks http://tfl.nu/pmwr
  Replies (2) Good night (666) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?

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  (443): His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/xejp
  Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (122)

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