Texts From Last Night

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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.

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  (902): i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots. http://tfl.nu/58kw
  Replies (35) Good night (2811) Bad night (849)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim

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  (678): And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim http://tfl.nu/sj8k
  Replies (51) Good night (1448) Bad night (5259)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.

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  (912): Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops. http://tfl.nu/tuda
  Replies (9) Good night (1389) Bad night (3847)
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  (562): View more from California

  I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.

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  (562): I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight. http://tfl.nu/kfwj
  Replies (9) Good night (5324) Bad night (1069)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.

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  (731): Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work. http://tfl.nu/qr42
  Replies (6) Good night (2578) Bad night (1050)
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  (518): View more from New York

  We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America

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  (518): We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America http://tfl.nu/rqk9
  Replies (1) Good night (1372) Bad night (590)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note

  (1+44): View more from

  Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!

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  (+44): Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note (1+44): Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud! http://tfl.nu/x31j
  Replies (4) Good night (1164) Bad night (620)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.

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  (850): I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud. http://tfl.nu/igxs
  Replies (1) Good night (1357) Bad night (535)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's like the blind leading the senile over here.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.

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  (541): It's like the blind leading the senile over here. (541): UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili. http://tfl.nu/cgpf
  Replies (7) Good night (2122) Bad night (1243)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.

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  (708): Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator. http://tfl.nu/0mqk
  Replies (5) Good night (845) Bad night (433)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.

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  (612): It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab. http://tfl.nu/z2cq
  Replies (0) Good night (342) Bad night (652)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry

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  (503): I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry http://tfl.nu/xdrm
  Replies (2) Good night (420) Bad night (645)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.

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  (604): I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants. http://tfl.nu/vm67
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (317)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life

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  (402): Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room (1-402): I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life http://tfl.nu/wz9a
  Replies (7) Good night (773) Bad night (372)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?

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  (270): My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/2qhw
  Replies (1) Good night (272) Bad night (237)

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