Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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