I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
