Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
