so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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