It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
