it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
