I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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