I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
