Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
