Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
