do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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