Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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