I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
