It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
