she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
