The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
