I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize