There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My underwear smells like fireworks.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
