You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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