before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
