so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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