Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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