I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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