Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
