My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
