some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
